Date: 2018-02-25 14:26
Thank you for your kind words Mirror. You are absolutely right that I do have everything I need in life and I don 8767 t need this man 8767 s acknowledgment to be happy and fulfilled but it still hurts to be totally disregarded like that. This has been a huge blow to my ego and my self esteem has suffered immensely as a result and I just feel really sad. None of it was worth it. I wish I was still curious about him and he was still curious about me, I should of left it at that and I wouldn 8767 t have to be going through these harsh feelings of rejection right now. I absolutely do feel rejected because I never heard from him AT ALL after that night and he ignored the message I sent him. I wasn 8767 t rude at all I just said Ill be keeping my distance from you next time I see you because you are not the kind of temptation I wanna be giving into. He could of at least replied.
I have been single for a long time now and in that time ive been working to build myself up and work on my confidence and I think that 8767 s what attracted him to me in the first place and the fact that I was trying to look my best and take care of myself but now I 8767 m no longer a mystery and a challenge so he 8767 s just over it. I guess you are right that I need to take more time for myself right now, stay single and avoid the gym and work on myself but I do feel some pressure Mirror im not getting any *censored* and it seems more acceptable in society for men to be single 8775 bachelors 8776 when they are older than it is for women to be and in a few months ill be 85 so im kind of freaking out that ill never meet anybody and ill forever be alone.
What you said about the law of attraction makes total sense and I believe in it wholeheartedly. Like attracts like and the energy you transmit out into the world is the same energy you get right back whether it be positive or negative. I know its impossible to have a positive happy life with a negative frame of mind but sometimes its hard to control those negative feelings and not allow them to permeate your life. I try to be thankful and smile but inside im not happy and don 8767 t feel fulfilled so it feels fake. Ive been patient for so long. Ive tried to work on myself for so long and still nothing has changed and its frustrating!
And im sure this guy he has hoards of women chasing after him so I probably don 8767 t even cross his mind meanwhile I sit here obsessing over him. How pathetic is that. This is so disheartening. I thought there were exceptions but I realized there are none. Everything ive read and learned from this site and the advice you 8767 ve given me and others I realized its applicable all of the time not just some of the time regardless of the man and the situation.
Thanks for the reminders Mirror.
God Bless you.
I m in a situation right now that I think I am dealing with a player and I am done with him but want further advice about how to deal with him. The 6st red flag about him is that he has almost no guy friends. Some people have even called him gay. He has all girl friends and is always talking to different ones at any given time. I thought that he cared more about me since we have been hanging out at *censored* for months now everyday and also texting using Face Time a lot. A few weeks ago, it was spring break and we talked everyday for hours at a time and even hung out a few times. We are both active on Instagram users and he comments all the time on girls photos and is following tons of girls. We took some pictures while on spring break together and everybody said, are you dating? or couple or are you finally dating and he replied no. And he even put on a comment why are we always together anyway? What? Anyway, while on spring break, a girl that he was following followed me and it turned out that he was talking to her on her pictures asking for her number and then she said we should hang out. When we got back from spring break, he posted a picture with this girl and she commented my better half and he said love you. Then he commented on another one of her pictures, It has only been 9 hours and I miss you already. Ugh! Then he calls me and I am annoyed and say I have to go and cannot talk. So at *censored*, he doesn t sit with me anymore and has been hanging out with different girls. This week has been terrible. He starts posting pictures on Instagram and takes the one off with the comments that he put love you and reposts it without the comments. Then he posts another one saying that he missed his old friends and hates his life. Then he posts another one with him and a new group of girls. He said hi to me and I just ignored him. Then last night he tries Face Timing me 7 times and I don t pick up but finally call him back and he says Sorry, Face Time is acting weird What? Was he messing with me and saying that he didn t really want to call? Then this morning he posts another picture with yet another girl and it says. Love you, Ellen with kissy faces. Why would he do this again? Such immature behavior! I don t know if he is trying to make me jealous or he is just a complete ***hole feeding his ego with all of these women. I don t understand how somebody could be so uncaring and cruel since he told me I was his best friend and I wasn t the one who did anything wrong here. Give me some insight on how to deal with this jerk going forward as I have to see him at *censored* and should I even talk to him if he calls again or what would I even say? A part of me really wants to tell my best friend how pissed off I am at him. Or should I just go about ignoring him completely? Help!!!!!!!
happy new year mirror.. wishing you all the best in your life..
I wanted to ask your opinion about this..when I deal with people, I always suppose that they are good until they prove otherwise...
With this guy, I helped him a lot in work and studying... he misbehaved few times but I forgave him thinking that no one is perfect until one day I had a problem and told him about it briefly and instead of comforting me, he blamed me and said you always make a big deal over nothing so I said you have no right to say that cause you weren t there and I refuse to talk to me like that. He was so angry saying that I don t accept advices so he no longer wants to hear about my problems (this was the very first time I open my heart to him) and said he doesn t care about my personal life and only work is between us, he started yelling I don t care, I don t care, I don t care I was literally shocked. I was just chatting with him about what happened to me and why I was upset and he treated me like that, I thought that we were friends but friends never do that. After this situation, I have changed 685 degree, I stopped being nice with him, he asked me why you ve changed as if he doesn t know or has amnesia so I said you need to ask yourself and think about it a *censored* I can t help you. After this, he needed my help several times, I unfortunately helped him with what I know thinking that I am not mean like him and I have to reflect my personality not his. I thought that he might had some problems on that day and that s why he behaved with me like that. After I helped him, he disrespect me by telling my secret. I was so angry with him and I never spoke with him again. Then he hit on me saying, we really missed you at work (when I didn t go for a week) and (he used to tease me more than any one) he started to teasing me even more and confess I am teasing you a lot these days and I am just ignoring him. The most stupid thing ever that, me and the girls at work wanted to go out on a girl night out to the movies, when he found out, he was mad at us cause we didn t tell him and the next day he didn t speak with any of us!!!!!! I realized now after 5 months of knowing him that he doesn t worth my help or attention.
Mirror, did I lose face when I helped him? I am not stupid or naive woman, I am educated and intelligent and I hope he realized that. I really regret every moment and don t know how to deal with it and make myself feel better. Please tell me what you think of this immature boy???
Mirror, I m the anon above and I messed up. : ( Well actually I did good to begin with. I heard from said guy last weekend who amidst the conversation suggested meeting up for another sofa date and I did good, I took your advice and said I didn t think it was a good idea and he said ok you, I respect that and I want on to say don t get me wrong, I do like you but I ve given it a bit of thought and I think I m looking for a bit more. I don t blame you at all as I know I kept saying I didn t want anything serious. I kind of wish we d have been fun to date. Hope we can still be friends. and I got the following reply, I m kind of with you we did dive into things too quickly. I m sorry as I haven t acted brilliantly through you know I think you re great, so let s definitely keep in touch? Wrong timing perhaps?! Have a cool week. I went on to say, definitely wrong timing, have a good week too. See I handled it well, no? And then I messed up. The following day, I ended up sending him a jokey reminder about a lamp he was going to repair for me and he replied straight away saying of course he will do it and I should let him know when s a good time. I tried to bring the conversation round and told him about a promotion I got and although he said he was happy for me he politely stopped the conversation. Now I ve turned psycho! I m constantly checking his social media (on the sly as I m not connected to him) to find out what he s been doing. I m paranoid that our one mutual friend is going to bump into him. I m totally consumed by thoughts of him. I realize how crazy it is yet I can t seem to stop myself. Then yesterday I was on a day out and I saw this fairground ride that we once shared a private joke about and I sent him a photo and a few words. Well I haven t heard back from him and now I can t help but think he thinks I m desperate and any feelings he might have had for me have now gone. My friends who haven t seen me this upset for so long are pulling me in different directions. Some of them are telling me to let it go and others are telling me I should contact him and say actually I m really missing him. But isn t that a ridiculous thing to do and if I should just let it go, what can I do to help myself. Why am I finding it so incredibly hard and why do I feel so sad? : ( I can t help but think this is karma for being so shallow at the beginning and now a guy I thought wasn t my type or good looking enough is actually all I can think about and I could kick myself for that.
Well that was definitely wrong thinking! and I know im smart enough to know that. He managed to get me to leave the party with him without even telling any of my friends and that is something I ve never done before and was it worth it -I would say NO. Because a) the sex wasn t even good and b) I felt totally insecure and self conscious around him especially after the alcohol wore off the next day (and my makeup *censored*) and 8) I also felt a coldness from him the next day-he wasn t the same guy from last night -smiling and flirting with me and when he dropped me off at my car he didn t even turn to look at me I had to go in for a hug. I ve never felt that sort of coldness from a guy before its like any attraction he had for me just flew out the window and he couldn t wait to get rid of me. So go figure I didn t hear from him at all after and I pretty much expected that since he never kept any communication in the first place but I thought maybe after we had sex there would at least be a text.. just a crumb -Something! but nope nothing at all. Meanwhile i couldn t stop thinking about him hoping id hear from him and creeping his fb picture so after 7 weeks when I did cave and text him to let him know I would be keeping my distance because he wasn t the type of temptation I wanted to be giving into you can only imagine how I felt when he completely ignored my message! that is beyond rude and hurtful even though I did bring this upon myself Mirror but to completely ignore me after we seen each other naked and had sex that s just wrong! It just makes me wonder if he was so repulsed by me or turned off and that makes me feel bad about myself not to mention it will be awkward when I see him again and I wont really know how ill act. I certainly wont be calling texting or speaking to him again that s for sure. I wont be going crazy on him either but actions speak louder than words and lets just say he really shouldn t have put his trust in a girl he barely took the time to get to know and confided things to me that could potentially land him in some really hot water. And Mirror you might not agree with me because yes Im a grown woman and I have to take full accountability for my own actions and I do. I was burned and maybe I did it to myself but I ll call it a lesson learned. I guess I cant really hate the player I just have to hate the game and learn how to play it right. I know ill get it there. thanks for your continued support xo
Regarding the justification of the self-proclaimed player above, here s an interesting bit about it:
His justification of his actions - in essence - actually justify the behavior of the woman who hurt him.
By claiming that he s justified to treat others poorly because he himself had been hurt...he s actually justified the behavior of the woman who hurt him because, according to his logic, the same justification then applies to her. Meaning, it then suddenly becomes okay for her to have hurt him because she, herself, had most likely been hurt prior to him by another man.
So all his behavior is really doing - is justifying the actions of the woman who hurt him.
By permitting himself a free pass to hurt others because he, himself, was once hurt - he has now granted the woman who hurt him - a free pass for her actions of hurting him (because one could assume she was once hurt prior to him).
He basically stooped to her level and in doing so - justified the pain she caused him.
He can now no longer point the finger and lay blame against her because chances are, she was hurt by a man prior to him - and that caused her to hurt him - which is now justified according to his logic.
Ladies, Watch out for men who claim we are always straight forward ...and then in the next breath, state... i am a player and admit they play games. So are you playing it straight? Or are you playing games? There s a lot of conflicting, self-defeating behavior there.
Treating women like crap will NEVER make any of them love you for the long haul. No one wants to spend a significant amount of time around someone that makes them feel like crap and causes them pain.
Many people who behave like this are insecure and do so - so that THEY hurt the other before THE OTHER hurts them (their insecurity stems from their fear, which is rejection). And via the Law of Attraction, which states that like attracts like, they attract equally insecure individuals to themselves, thus creating a viscious, negative, repetitive, painful dating lifestyle for themselves.
Folks, there ARE good people out there. Without a doubt, there ARE good men and women out there. You just have to filter, be very choosy, get comfortable with saying no - and find the one that s right for YOU. The one that is willing to fulfill your needs, care for you and treat your heart as something valuable and special.
At all costs, men and women both, steer clear of the one s that are out to get you [to get over on you] and use you, simply to prove to themselves that they can - so that they feel better about themselves.
My girlfriend basically told me the same thing you said about that text that I sent him which is if she were a guy she would of ignored it too because really what are you suppose to say to that. When I asked you prior how I might be able to differentiate myself from other females after having sex with him your reply was:
if you want to differentiate yourself from other women and throw him for a loop so that he thinks of you, the way to do that is to NOT do what he EXPECTS women to do..which is pursue him (contact him) and I did just that for 7 weeks but then I caved and text him. Essentially I was tapping him and trying to remind him that I exist and seek some sort of acknowledgment but that did nothing but give him another opportunity to reject me by completely ignoring me. I justified it by thinking it might be a good idea so it wouldn t be as awkward next time I seen him at the gym or out and we didnt talk but nopeeee!!!! it was just as awkward seeing him at the gym especially coming face to face with him the other day. He is a seasoned playboy indeed and he s a bad boy who does *censored* things to make money so he probably is doing me a huge favor ignoring me so I don t stay fixated on him. He may land in some really hot water one day (im hoping) and I wouldn t want to be intertwined with that.
Fake it till you Make it - Mirror it couldn t be more true! when you hear men talk and try to impress women they are blowing themselves up and making themselves sound like they are really something special and a lot of them lie in order to do that so I caught on to that and realized that I should start doing the same since it seems to work so well for them even the biggest losers and when I did I got far more positive reactions from men. I become a cross between confident and maybe a *censored* conceited and I would bust their balls a *censored* as per your advice and I could tell they loved that! especially the douchebags!! for instance when douchebag asked me once how old I was and if I was old like him (he s a year older) my reply was im *censored* than you and always will be and thats all you need to know *censored* he smirked I could tell he wasn t expecting that reply! and another time I was flattering him a *censored* but then I followed that up with im still more attractive than you though *censored* you really do have to build yourself up to be confident and throw them for a loop because then you re not boring you are different and different is very attractive! I wish I could still be that girl to him : ( how one night can ruin it all...who knows what the future holds though -maybe he will think about me one day and message me or maybe if he sees me again he will approach probably best if he doesn t but you just never know with these guys! doing nothing can be really hard but mirroring their behavior is the language they seem to understand best. When he didnt talk to me that day at the gym after he looked right at me I did the exact same thing and he s probably not used to females doing that to him *censored* so hopefully that threw him off a bit! Im starting to get to a *censored* bit of a better place now in terms of just need to remember that hes not the prize- I am and my thoughts attitude and frame of mind need to reflect that.
You 8767 re right Mirror I am punishing him for my own regrettable decisions. I basically walked right into this and asked for it and I have enough awareness to realize that but it doesn 8767 t change what happened. I take full accountability for my part and have had to deal with a huge blow to my self-esteem as a result but im also punishing him for how he treated me with complete disregard afterwards and partly how the douchebags that came before him treated me. Coincidentally my asshole aries ex had the same name. Sure that may not be entirely fair but at this point it 8767 s the only thing that 8767 s making me feel a *censored* better. I did wrestle with the idea of revenge on him using the information I had at my disposable because being a vengeful bitch is not really my gentle pisces nature but he just brought it out of me. I wont be telling him what course of action ive taken against him though because I wouldn 8767 t want that to backfire on me. So ill just sit back now and watch to see how things unfold and hopefully this will knock him off his high *censored* but I highly doubt it he is who he is and I certainly can 8767 t change that. My best friend said she seen him this past weekend when she was with another friend of hers and he was checking out her girlfriend hardcore so that just goes to show this guy has a wandering eye and I don 8767 t think that he would have loyalty to anyone even if he did have a girlfriend. He did tell me he doesn 8767 t cheat if he has a girlfriend but im very skeptical of that along with everything else he 8767 s said. I suppose that he prefers to stay single so he can have casual hookups all over the place and not have to answer to anyone but I guess that 8767 s his choice and has nothing to do with me since im not his girlfriend.
This is a very tough journey Mirror. Sometimes I feel like giving up and calling it quits. I try so hard to be my best in other aspects of my life but experiences with douchebags really take a toll on me and for every step I make forward these blows to my self esteem take me ten steps back. I know he 8767 s just one man and there 8767 s many more of him in this world but im still really attracted to him which makes no sense given how he 8767 s treated me and having to still see him is hard because its really makes me come face to face with the bitterly harsh rejection.
I 8767 ll have to keep plugging along though that 8767 s all I can really do
thank you for your continued support. xo
I just wanted to put my experience out there. I met this guy on an online dating website. We went on a date and hit it off really well and man did I fall hard for this guy! We had sex on the second date since we were so physically attracted to each other. He made me feel special in so many different ways.. But in the back of my mind, I had a gut feeling that this was too good to be true. Comes to find out my gut instinct was right! He had been texting/skyping with *censored* different women and was really involved with a woman from a different country. I called him out on it and he told me the typical i m going to change for you, you re the only one i want bull shit that I fell for time and time again. I was that girl who gave him so many chances for him to change because I wanted to be that good girl who changes a player.. But you can t fix broken. We dated for a couple more months until he broke it off with me because he couldn t stay committed to me and that he wanted to focus on himself and his career - typical breakup line. I knew once he said that, that he was going to go back to his old ways. He blocked me on facebook so he wouldn t let me see the numbers of girls he added as well.
About a month later with absolutely no contact, he texted me saying he wants to give me my stuff back from his old apartment since he moved to a new condo. I replied and told him i d get it from him once I had the time. About a week later, I went to his place and got my stuff. We chatted for a bit and he started acting flirty and sexual again. To my fault, of course I gave into it. We acted like we were a couple again that night and once I left, he said he d text me later. Of course, he never texted me back. He already got what he wanted which was to get in my pants. I felt disgusted, hurt, and used and it was sooo stupid for me to fall back into this vicious cycle again.
So two days ago, I went to his place and gave him his stuff back. Of course I tried to look sexy and great at the same time so he knew what he was missing out on! He ended up kissing and stuff but I stopped and never gave in after that. I rejected him for the first time and it felt great haha. So I left my phone on his dresser while I used the restroom. And while I was in the restroom, a guy that has been interested in me called me and texted me some flirty text messages on my phone. The player saw him calling me and read the messages he sent on my phone He even answered the guy s phone call and asked who it was! And let me tell you. The player went ape shit bizzerk on me. He started calling me a whore, bitch, slut, you name it. He pushed me on the bed and told me to get the hell out of his house. He was so mad that he left the house himself and drove off.
He had absolutely no right to react the way he did, calling me names and physically throwing me, because WE ARE BOTH SINGLE. And if I recalled correctly, that was his choice. If he expected me to sit there waiting for him while he talks to every girl on earth, then he s sadly mistaken. I deserve the right to move on just as much as he did. The tables have turned and by him over-reacting like that, he got a taste of his own medicine. His sister even deleted me off facebook. *censored*. I don t feel bad at all for him!
So Ladies, please be careful and follow your instincts! This made me realize that moving on was the best thing to ever do-- it was my mistake to fall for it post breakup, but I really did learn from this experience. There are loyal and faithful guys out there that deserve great girls like us.
Farthest North Girl Scout Council Farthest North Girl Scout Council Friday, April 75th, 7568 at 7:69am Do you need something a *censored* extra for your bridging ceremony? Stop by the Council shop next week for our shop sale, Monday April 78 - Friday, April 77! All uniform accessories (beanies, headbands, official scarves, slides, skorts and more!) will be 65% off, plus we'll have discounts on select Council apparel! Save on items that will make your bridging or end-of-the-year ceremony extra special! 8 View on Facebook Farthest North Girl Scout Council Thursday, April 69th, 7568 at 7:69am Happy Leader Appreciation Day! Thank you to all of our amazing leaders & co-leaders! Girl Scouts is a volunteer based organization, and it wouldn't exist without the hard work and dedication from leaders like you! Thank you!
All of our leaders & co-leaders are invited to join us today for a special Leader Appreciation Lunch from 67pm - 7pm at the Council office! Stop by just to say hello and get your special thank you gift, or stay for the whole time to enjoy lunch and making a beautiful craft! 8 View on Facebook Farthest North Girl Scout Council Thursday, April 67th, 7568 at 7:99am April is Leader Appreciation Month and we want to thank our Leaders & Co-Leaders! Join us for the Leader Appreciation Lunch next Wednesday, April 68th! 7 View on Facebook Farthest North Girl Scout Council Tuesday, April 65th, 7568 at 8:66am Our Annual Meeting is this Saturday in our Council BP Room. All adult members and Girl Scouts over 69 years old are invited to come. Listen to updates within the Council and hear what our troops across the Council have been up to in the last year. *censored*ren under 69 years of age are not allowed. Food and coffee will be ready at 9:85am and the meeting start right at 65am. See you on Saturday! 6 8 View on Facebook Farthest North Girl Scout Council Tuesday, April 8rd, 7568 at 8:65am Who loves camp? We do! All registered Girl Scouts are invited to join the fun at the Camp Rally on Saturday, April 76st from 66am to 67pm! This event is full of fun that you can find at Camp Jessie Bloom, including, s'more-making, crafts, games and loads of laughter! Plus, a free fun patch! There is no cost for this drop-off event, but RSVP is required by Friday, April 75th. Call or come by the office to sign up. See you at the Camp Rally! 7 6 7 View on Facebook Farthest North Girl Scout Council Saturday, March 86st, 7568 at 8:75am Is your troop coming back next fall? Take the hassle out of the back-to-*censored* rush by Early Birding your troop! Register your troop early and each girl will earn this super cute fun patch, plus, you'll earn your Service Unit $6 for every girl you register! Early Bird packets will be ready at the Council office starting on Monday, April 7nd. Early Bird Registration ends on May 86st. Call the office with any questions, 95*censored*787. 66 8 7 View on Facebook